HIPSTER RUNOFF

Is Rebecca Black the next big tween sensation OR the next Final Placement?
Solange Knowles keeps trying to be indie, writes song with Grizzly Bear + Twin Shadow
Animal Collective unveil new album art + teaser music video
Death Cab for Cutie's horrible new album art is totally lamestream
Arcade Fire releases trailer for short film abt teen life in the Suburbs (directed by Spike Jonze)
Some1 invents 'hipster traps' to capture and maim 'effing hipsters' in the wild
Kanye West vs. Chris Brown: Who invented the cock pic as an album buzz strategy?

Is Rebecca Black the next big tween sensation OR the next Final Placement?

Posted: 14 Mar 2011 04:31 PM PDT

As yall know, I am a huge fan of the following buzz topics:
a) tweens
b) tween stars
c) parents who enable their kids to become viral memes
d) cyberbullying
e) memes that expose the intellectual class/caste system on the internet.

The tween pop of Rebecca Black in her hit viral video "Friday" has really offered us a great opportunity to pull our head out of Justin Bieber's tween bum hole and think about what it means to be a tween pop sensation. Tween sensations are 4% human and 96% human memes gone wild. It's great to live in an era where we finally understand that no1 will be taken seriously, nor will they remain 'famous' 'forever' just because they were associated with something that won them widespread cultural notoriety. In fact, it is great to watch these super memes 'flame out', forced to re-evaluate their career + monetary decisions long after their [via the VH1 celeb reality theory]. Sorta wish we could go back in time and post-ironically consumer Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, and C. Thomas Howell in their meme primes.

The tweenosphere is one of the most interesting cultural spheres because the intellectual upperclass gets to witness horrible products/manufactured human beings being branded + marketed + sold to long tail tweens who would trade anything for a taste of 'fame' a.k.a. virality. I sorta wonder if watching all of these tweens broadcast their feelings on twitter, their vlogs on youtube, and their self-pix on dailybooth provide the ultimate 'birth control.' The fear of bringing a brain dead, lamestreamer, consumer-wave tween into this world, and sort of having to 'let them consume tween products' so that they can fit in at school. Just because our parents did it for us doesn't mean we have to extend the courtesy to our spawn.

I sort of wish I could be a rich parent with 3-5 kids, and enable my beautiful daughter to become a tween pop star. She will sing along to pop songs in the car, and I will take her to a regional talent scout + music + video producer. They will tell me if I pay them $5k-10k, they will produce a video that will showcase my daughter's talents, and give Disney and Nickelodeon scouts a GREAT OPPORTUNITY to see that my daughter has the talent, willingness, and drive to become the next big tween sensation.

I wish I had birthed Rebecca Black and let her know that she could accomplish anything, whether it was 'becoming a singer', 'becoming a viral meme', or 'getting a tween Disney contract.'

Do yall <3 Becca Black?

Sorta have a crush on her now...

Wish I could be one of her BFFs and cruise in a convertible with her...

She probably rlly knows how 2 partie...

I hope she can trust this African American thug rapper... Hopefully he has 'good vibes' to send like B.O.B. or Ludacris or another Uncle Tom-wave rapper who is friendly with the whites.

Sometimes I wish I could put myself in the shoes of a tween who sees that one of their videos has accumulated 1 million-10 million views on youtube. How do they rationalize it? How many hits make u famous? How many hits ensure that you will never be forgotten?

I remember when the hit buzzband Final Placement wrote a song and produced a music video that transcended both bro-rock, Christian rock, and the North Face fleece-wave genre. [link to original post]

It seems like this new band has totally 'transcended' the internet, creating a new model by which bands can reach a mass market of listeners. Maybe the goal needs 2 change from 'trying to make good music', but instead, making a laughable meme that appeals to millions of internet users.

Is Rebecca Black 'the new Final Placement'?
Or will she become a relevant tween pop star?
Do u think she looks 'ethnic enough' 2 appeal 2 Mexi markets?
If u were Disney/Nick would u offer her a mega-contract to capitalize on her memefied status, or has the meme only been consumed by the meme upperclass? (those who only consume memes from high-end content farms)
Do u think she is ashamed of her song, like she has been cyberbullied?
Or do u think that believes she has become a relevant tween sensation?

Is Final Placement still a better meme than Rebecca Black?
Did God create tweens as a way 2 say that the world is ending?
Have tweens 'gone too far'?
Are 'meme remixes' the sign of a 'beautiful/perfect meme'?

Are yall pumped abt Friday? What r u gonna do this weekend?

Solange Knowles keeps trying to be indie, writes song with Grizzly Bear + Twin Shadow

Posted: 14 Mar 2011 01:01 PM PDT

Link: http://pitchfork.com/news/41872-listenwatch-grizzly-bears-chris-taylor-solange-twin-shadow-collaborate-on-benefit-track
DL song: http://www.musicforrain.net/

Solange Knowles is on a neverending quest to find her niche in the indiesphere. She always collabs with the Dirty Projectors like the one time she sang on stage with them and tried to 'out-sing' the 3 keut altbaguettes in their band [link]. She also sings with Of Montreal even though they are like 0% relevant. Anyways, she wrote some new song with Chris Taylor of Grizzly Bear and George Lewis Jr. of Twin Shadow [SPONSORED BY COCA COLA] in order to let ppl know that Africans don't have water. I guess it is always good to get a free MP3, but they are sorta killing my Western world blogosphere vibe by letting me know that some ppl can't take a poop and flush the toilet with several gallons of water.

Disco Naïveté points to a video of a song resulting from a collaboration between Grizzly Bear's Chris Taylor, Solange Knowles, and Twin Shadow called "Kenya". The three artists teamed up to record the song for the Coca Cola Foundation's Replenish Africa Initiative (or RAIN for short), which "brings together business, local government, NGOs and committed individuals to tackle the problem of access to water and sanitation in Africa," according to their website.

"To me, water is something that comes in a bottle or else it might as well be from the Third World."

Here is 'the official music video.' The song has a bunch of Twin Shadowy sounding guitars, classic Chris Taylor 'production techniques', and most importantly, tons of Solange Knowles trying 2 sing like she's a member of the Dirty Projectors.

I am generally a fan of Twin Shadow + Chris Taylor production projects, but Solange Knowles kinda kills the vibe for me... I'm not sure if I'll ever accept her as an indie artist, even if she hired a team of producers from the most relevant indie buzzbands. The track is sorta ambient, but I don't know if African people would like it... Like it might be 'too progressive' for them.

Do yall <3 'the spirit of collaboration'?

Does this song 'crush it'?
Do yall h8 Solange Knowles 4 trying to exploit the indiesphere?
Is Chris Taylor the keutest member of Grizzly Bear?
Do u think Twin Shadow shoulda talked more in the 'about' video?
What's the deal with Africa? Are the living in poverty without standard human necessities, or do they just have a simple way of life?

Do u think they shoulda raised awareness for Africa not having 3G wireless networks/snark blogs + alt content farm networks?
Can u ride chillwaves without water?
Is Stillness still the move?

Do u think Coca Cola should send Africa a bunch of soda so that they think that Coke = water? [via Dasani]
Was it unchill of them to release this MP3 when they should be focusing on Japan?

Animal Collective unveil new album art + teaser music video

Posted: 14 Mar 2011 11:22 AM PDT

Link: http://stereogum.com/658182/hear-new-animal-collective-tunes/video/

Keep + AC from Keep Company on Vimeo.

Animal Collective apparently has a new album coming out in 2k11, but this isn't it. This is just some mix tape thingy that they made for the shoes that they designed [link]. Just sorta some Daft-Punk-style product branding now they have to follow thru to get this shoe company more press. Kinda annoying... I really wish this was a new Animal Collective album so that I could analyze it + determine whether or not it lived up to their previous albums' standards.

Here is some sort of 'album art' / 'mix tape cover.' Sorta some 'dark' doodles, but I guess that's just what we are supposed to expect from Animal Collective. Honestly, I am getting sorta exhausted by their humility and abstract personal brands... I really need them to OVERHAUL on their next album cycle and stop being such introverts.

Yeah I don't really get it. Not sure what the hell this thing is. If I wanted to listen to "Fickle Cycle", I would have illegally downloaded the AnCo box set and listened to it in its entirety as I tripped on salvia shrooms in the California desert.

Do u still care abt #AnCo?
Does Keep Sneakers need to stop milking this partnership bc they already sold out of their sneakers?
Did yall buy an AnCo sneakers? Do they make u better at playing basketball/being in a buzzband?
R u 'over' AnCo or do they still have 1 more good album in them?
Did AnCo 'peak'?
Did Panda Bear + Avey solo 'flop'?
Will Animal Collective be the next indie band 2 win a Grammy?

Death Cab for Cutie's horrible new album art is totally lamestream

Posted: 14 Mar 2011 10:48 AM PDT

I just saw this album art for the new Death Cab for Cutie album "Codes and Keys." It seems like it is some sort of custom Wheat Thin. Or maybe Zooey Deschanel did an 'arts and crafts project' and forced Benjamin Gibbard 2 put it on the cover but the band is all like 'nooo' but Ben is like "I was in the Postal Service, bitches!" Really confused. I can't help but think about who Death Cab for Cutie used 2 b, and what they used to mean to alt... and just wonder how they got to where they are now.

What does this have 2 do with Codes or Keys? Should the name of this album be "HASHTAGS & TRENDING TOPICS"?
Do yall <3 this album art?
Is this album gonna 'sell like hot cakes'?
Has Death Cab for Cutie 'lost their marbles'?
Will this album get a 10.0 or a lame-point-oh?

Arcade Fire releases trailer for short film abt teen life in the Suburbs (directed by Spike Jonze)

Posted: 14 Mar 2011 06:19 AM PDT

I just watched this trailer for a short film inspired by the Arcade Fire album 'The Suburbs' called Scenes From The Suburbs. It is basically just going to be the long form video for the hit music video "The Suburbs" which was directed by Spike Jonze. Not really that interesting to me. If I wanted to watch 'Scenes from the Suburbs', I'd just go outside and walk around my neighborhood (since I had to move back in with my parents after a rough stretch where I quit my office job).

The story seems to be about the military taking over the_suburbs, and teens trying to make sure that they had meaningful existences. Just the usual high school stuff. Riding BMX bikes, fingerbanging the same girl as your bros did, and wishing ur parents understood u.

Do yall think tons of entry levelers are gonna buy this 'dvd' and be all like 'I am a true Arcade Fire fan because I care abt the story behind the music and bc Spike used 'Wake Up' for Where the Wild Things Are book movie'?

Here is the original music video for 'The Suburbs.' U can basically watch this video and know what happened in 'The Suburbs'. Just pretend you are all of the tweens in this short film [via acting in a 1 man play].

Is Spike Jonze 'overrated'?
Did he ruin 'Where the Wild Things Are' or was it a brilliant, emotional film?
Are yall tired of 'The Suburbs'?
Does the Arcade Fire need 2 find a new gimmick that doesn't involve Sprawl (IV) Subways Beyond Panera Breads?
Do u wish this short film was just the story of Regine and Win settling down in the Suburbs of Texas?
Will yall ever forgive Spike Jonze for 'taking over Heath Ledger's life' [via Michelle Williams + Matilda]?

Some1 invents 'hipster traps' to capture and maim 'effing hipsters' in the wild

Posted: 13 Mar 2011 06:08 PM PDT

fucking hipsters hipster trap
It seems like some sort of big game hunter has moved beyond hunting exotic animals like emus, polar bears, panda bears, manatees, and coral reefs, and is looking to hunt relevant alternative subcultures of humans. Placed within this trap are a pair of wayfarers, a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, a pack of American Spirits cigarettes, and some sort of yellow anal beads (can't tell what those are). This is a trap that is designed to imprison 'hipsters.'

Maybe it's not a 'big game hunter.' Maybe it is just some zany local artist who thinks he will 'break thru' by jumping on the hipster bashing meme (plus his dad had some bear traps hanging around). Using a violent image like the concept of the bear trap, the artist desires to not only bash the 'effing hipster' but to violently maim him or her.
hipster traps
Would yall ever get caught in a 'hipster trap' with entry level wayfarers?
Have yall seen these traps out in 'the wild'?
What would yall put in a 'hipster trap'?
Does this hunter bro need to 'step it up' and buy some Sparks / Apple products / have speakers playing a relevant buzzband's underground tunes?
If u were a big game hunter who 'got bored with animals', what type of humans / subcultures / races would u hunt + mount?

Do yall think that Panda Bear got 'caught in a bear trap' during 2k10, which is why TOMBOY took so long?

Are 'hipster bashing memes' still relevant?
Should I set out some 'hipster traps' and 'tech bro traps' at SXSW?
Do yall know where I can buy ________ traps?
Do u wish u could invent a 'lamestreamer trap' that is filled with episodes of Glee, American Idol, WalMart gift gards, NASCAR gear and Lady Antebellum CDs?