Tonight I have had my 22nd singing lesson. It's amazing that I've been doing this singing palaver for so long considering how much I hate it, and amazing what a buzz I get from it every time.
Don't get me wrong - of course I don't hate it, but I dread it every single time. And during the warm up exercises my voice and knees shake, I am red as a beetroot and sweat like a pig. It is increadably stressful to me.
However I'm getting braver. Tonight I managed to reach notes I haven't dared reaching before (because at home, when I'm sure noone listens I reach the high notes no problem, so I know I can...) and I dared singing without caring too much about reading the music sheets.
...You see, after 13 years of flute lessons I have developed a bad habit of not being able to sing/play anything without reading notes. But tonight I did. And despite a couple of panic attacks it went OK.
People often talk about how exercixe releases endorphins, but my endorphins go crazy inside my body after every singing lesson I have. I feel proud, excited and dead good about myself.
Next week I've asked my brother to tag along - I still panic if faced with singing in front of anyone but my singing coach. I reckon my brother is a good person to be nr. 1 to make a fool of myself in front of. He knows me and won't judge me too much.
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