Monday, May 14, 2007

Lindsay Lohan's Top Popped By Best

Lohan and her balding English man candy, Calum Best, have taken their international love to the Bahamas. Best grabbed Lohan in the water, squeezed her in a bear hug, and popped her like a 3 day old whitehead. Only instead of releasing an ivory bounty of pus, her bikini top released a nipple. Which is almost as sexy as pus. Almost.

he opening of The Cove resort in the Bahamas last weekend was so chockablock with celebrities you had to watch out where you stepped. Strolling along the jungle paths that meander past streams and waterfalls, Lindsay Lohan and new boyfriend Calum Best suddenly felt an urge to make out. A startled passerby came upon the young lovers rolling around on the ground. "Don't mind us," Best told the stranger. "We're tourists."

The tourist excuse does not work for public copulation. It works if you're apologizing for getting in people's way when you're taking pictures. Or for wearing matching T-shirts with your family. Or for complaining that all there is to eat is gross local cuisine, and where are all the Ruby Tuesdays.

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